YouTube Captioning: Mormon Messages: How Can I Find Happiness?

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“The biggest consumer, Utah, averaged 5.47 adult content subscriptions per 1000 home broadband users…”
-ABC News
Then you’re probably in Salt Lake City.
What do you think, chunky Beverly Hills Cop-era Paul Reiser?
You wonder if the lake-effect rain will ever lose input under an occluded front.
A neck brace?
“Thank you. Good night.”
“…bigamy…”
“…xenophobia…”
“…filicide…”
So we live in Utah, to avoid that temptation.
“My picture!”
“Dad, you’re squishing my picture too!”
“I f**** hate you two!”
Our degrading, precious bodily fluids.
Paul Reiser again?
First down. 12:21 on the clock. Romans have possession.
“Or cutting remarks.”
“Suck iiiiiit…”
Messianic Apathetic
DC Comics Jesus #1 (August 1936)
“Are you gonna start the auction or not?”
No matter how many times “Scrubs” is on cable at any given second…
Please Pablo… Come to Florida…
(He’s omnipotent, but touchy.)
“I don’t really like thrillers so much…”
?
Wasn’t that a “But…” ?

Capped by Space Toast
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YouTube Captioning: Gundam00: Celestial Being

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As opposed to whom?
Graham Norton, American supremacist.
Can we listen to something other than talk radio?
Mike Mulligan’s steam shovel, no!
TONIGHT!

ON WWE RAW

The horrible truth of the Oneida Community…
Clogs?
“That’s great, Mr. Lipman, but we were discussing Maria Bello’s new movie…?”
.oO(Gotta… pee!)
“Ted, you ignoble bastard, is that you? I haven’t seen you since Wallingford!”
“The Perseids! We’re saved!”
That is one bitch of a reactor leak.
In the name of the Autobot, the Voltron, and the holy Gundam, amen.
“HEEEEEEEEELP!”
[Pronounced “GUN-da-MOO”]
.oO(I hate living in the revolving restaurant)
Just once I’d like to see a well adjusted young hotshot pilot.
Make it a yogurt, Señor Latte
You’re workin’ up anyone? Hell yeah
C’est Yoko. Party y’all are wee
My wish is so verby? Is it?
My suit is not that dweeby-collared
A suet pan to carry ’round
There’s a war. Metal cannery
My life ain’t too dear for your pay
Houdini cuckold made you talk heyyyyy…
BIGGER CHEST ^
^ ^
BIGGER CHEST
In my day, Sunrise just made bread.
That is one HELL of a greenfly.
“Ahh, Mr. Batch.”
This is such great banter.
“I make the girls cream.”
*squish*
“Will you shut up?”
It’s tight as a drum, Boss Tweed.
“Lets get this over with. I’ve got tickets to Gwar tonight.”
“Feeling kind of let down about life. You know. Just nothing really going on, I guess. Over.”
“The plot!”
It takes a great leader to respond to a situation with peeved incredulity.
Airman Durr
“Engage the slinky under glass!”
(My girlfriends won’t believe this unless I get a snapshot)Oo.
P.E.TA.?
Mobile Suit Redundant
“Warm greens in a fall wardrobe?!”
Evil McSmarmydick
The exposition has plenty of seating, and vice-versa.
Then let the battle of mockery begin.
A robot with a knife? How… “progressive.”
Jump ball!
This just goes to show something, I’d imagine.
“And I said, ‘Hey, what the.'”
Megamaid!
He’s brave to try bangs.
“Distributing leaflets.”
Top. Men.
Come on guys, they’re only validating parking for another half hour.
Looks like someone only sprang for the basic liability…
Does he ever blink?
*laugh track*

“Oh Chandler!”

Thunderstarbugs are go!
Commander Rainbow Bright on deck.
The S. S. Stephanie Myers
“The perv.”
“If it’s not about ‘Gossip Girls’ I don’t want to hear it.”
One can of puce? You suck at tagging.
“You’re totally gonna get us kicked out of prom!”
“I’m sure nothing interesting enough to require a change of strategy will happen.”
– –

o

o o

[]

“Technobabble engaged.”
Can I suggest a headband?
I thought Oral Roberts was heaven’s pillar.
“It’s as boring as it sounds.”
“…Pikachu, Reddy Kilowatt, and the entire cast of ‘The Electric Company.'”
*Chun Lee kick*
“But I find a bit of rouge and an eyebrow plucking intensely masculine.”
*Chun Lee kick*

“Sorry! Sorry.”

THEM MAKING THEIR MOVE: ACTUAL FOOTAGE
WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO SEE IS AN ACTUAL MOVE BEING MADE
This might be exciting if we had any idea what the f*** was going on.
A bit late for the annoying sidekick-thing, isn’t it?
“Thanks, Wilson.”
YAAY! and/or BOO!
I’m thinking Elijah Wood and Johnny Depp for the live-action film.
“I can’t believe you forgot to validate our parking.”
Oh just kiss already.

“Anyway…”

*turns on bouncing suspension*

“Damn kids!”
Telstar Wars
THRILL as he Command-Plusses!
Incredible how? They – snuck – in – with – the – debris.
“Or dumb as hell.”
“EVERYBODY SCRAMBLE! RUN AROUND USELESSLY! THIS IS AN ORDER!”
“I’ll deal with those Space Argonauts later.”
And who’d want to die a virgin?
“This diaper will just have to do.”
Meanwhile, in our sparse, irritating party scene…
“I’m afraid your credit card is coming up declined, sir…”
Good thing small-talk has been eliminated in the future.
Next week on Space Psychics
“Ohmygod, this is like… tho really happening!”
“I- I think. This interface is really confusing.”
Daveigh Chase, would you move!
“-ass.”
Who’s fighting who, why do I care, and what the eff?
Oh god, not “Ghost Hunters”
“I was watching my stories!”
“Peas and carrots peas and carrots Gundam tentacle baka peas and carrots…”
“Roger that, Jughead.”
“And yet I still feel empty.”
Yes, but poorly animated.
Katie Couric: Serious journalist
*begins to strip*
*takes heavily mosaiced jizz shot*
NASA Denies Coverup
Sailor Moon!
See, the banks over-leveraged themselves by selling worthless financial products to one another. Some of them, called Credit Default Swaps, or CDOs…
Where do you get a wooden backpack?
*wokka chicka music*
“But instead I’ll address it to you…”
“And we’re here to take you on a ska journey…”
Trying to watch this sh** kids.
*left hand tries to strangle him*
“But it is an incentive…”
“Ratings.”
RITZY TITZ CLUB

ATLANTIC CITY

“The irony is not lost on us, I assure you.”
Crap, wrong cue card.
Dr. Pedant
If they hadn’t, someone else would have.
A similar strategy worked at solving Blink 182’s inexplicable popularity.
These guys aren’t home yet?!
“That’s like using toilet paper to eliminate toilets!”
“Anyway, did you find that Foreigner 8-track in the glove box? I’ve got a craving for Juke Box Hero.”
“Kinky.”
Man voice!
*KICK*
“Clams too.”
3… 2… 1…
The Gundam Meister Meisterbergers perhaps?
ROCK and rollin’ pigeons!
CRAAAAZY f***in’ pigeons!
FLAPPIN’ for their lives!
IN the rock & rollin’ SKIES! WHAA!
These are the people who will find you on FaceBook.
.oO(The new XB-2-425-Z-KLYNV-78-C-Mark-235-X-6-Sigma-Alpha-Beta-Epsilon-14 is out!)
“Taxi!”
“Crap, this is an appliance store.”
No panorama for you, jackass.
Mix & match!
“Stop in the name of love, I guess…”
I win!
…The Gundam Bunch!
Captain Lemon Meringue and her Crew
will return in…
THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUNDAM
“Ow.”
ON THE NEXT GILMORE GIRLS
So, basically, Superman IV without Mark Pillow. See you then!
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YouTube Captioning: Hilary Duff – Seventeen Cover Cam

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Where’s the rest of your nose?
All pop idols must be thoroughly wind tunnel tested.
Cameltoe Monthly, on newsstands now.
Which character from “Full House” is she supposed to be?
“That’s me in there, but little!”
Remember this song when it sucked the first time?
Crap… Crap…
Girl in midground: “Is there a way we make the slutty jumberjack thing work a little harder?”
Come on, you’ve done it with people in your “genre of work” so many times…
“I’m still in there!”
Reconcile the madonna and whore archetypes?
Very famine?
“Bargain shelf porn.”
And now the American-born Korean girl look.
Good idea. There’s always work for a washed-up candy girl ten years past her prime who’d binge-exercised coke dimples into her face by 21.
“Education…”
“Not saying ‘like’ every third word…”
“Pile-ons…”
“Gwar.”
“This career will self-destruct in five seconds…”
This is not a hip hop song.
Posing with the black monolith.
Do they have much use for the Nanook of the North backdrop?
“Now do Janet Jackson in the ‘Scream’ video!”
“Ha ha ha! You’re touching my body! Usually only Disney execs get to do that.”
And always remember: Future punchlines don’t die, they just…

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YouTube Captioning: What Is Brain Wave Vibration?

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More or less by default.
(And even more bullshit stories.)
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow…

“Hello, you’re on Car Talk.”

“Yes, I keep hearing a brain wave vibration…”

Is this the apocalypse video from Gremlins II ?
The “Argument By Pun” logical fallacy, ladies and gentlemen.
And like the Master Control Program, it can be defeated by Jeff Bridges and Bruce Boxleitner.
Like the Snugee.
I guess.
.oO(I can HEAR the pastels!)
It’s called “Not dying.”
…that he could become a multimillionaire, and bang lots of hot American chicks if he renamed his cult “Dahn Yoga” and moved it to Arizona.
Unlike rocks, or teakettles.
Uh uh.
No. No. No. No. No!
Change my pitch up! Smack my bitch up!

Change my pitch up! Smack my bitch up!

Change my pitch up! Smack my bitch up!

Here they all are.
AAUGH!
Clots?
Dammit, do it! DAMN YOU!
*pukes*
Clearly.
You “choir” your mind down?
What about after the breakdown?
Into what?
“Better” is a bit vague here.
“HEY DON’T CUT AWAY FROM ME!”
(slash wallet)
How to put this delicately…
Except, you know, cancer and stuff.
Where’s the keg?
And have more sex.
With more passion and energy.
With her? Sure!
*Warning: Brain wave vibration may cause yeast infection. Do not taunt brain wave vibration. Consult your doctor if you experience any results of brain wave vibration, as they may be a sign of a more serious mental condition. Void in Utah and Florida. These claims have not been verified by Oprah Winfrey.