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YouTube Captioning: Morning Musume – Kanashimi Twilight

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IANoK9E2pAg

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Human Instrumentality Continues

However, due to time constraints…

You can’t beat the fit of a PVC blouse.
“YOU WANNA SEE UP MY SKIRT?!”
Who was in charge of the Pepto color scheme?
A zucchini sunset o’er Eden
You heard me: Eat that cumin leavened in air
Gecko went, “Coochie-coo, get more!”
That guy who covers Ood in tallow
It’s a mole!
Come on man, Thayer’s the sh*t; good day!
Ben wa? My toucan? Man, douchy.
Kick a tooth, get dumb and go and use a sheep
Guitar!
Oh take me! Not there. Not there. Sh*t, it’s genetic?
Go back there, back there — Ooh, super curry!
You’ll need white cake or lying Sheens to meet the yob
Go get an anchor, an anchor, or soap from Goa
To keep your, keep your cheek out of doorbells
A book of crap, its name is Twilight
When in Japan, ride the Freudian pink tube.
Co-E.D. ocho to eat here
So let that coed tumble she next to me
In book of love, Coco’s the tan dude
And I make that journey on your camel
What the f*ck!
Was your momma eating the loony?
Mocha ain’t the key to collating
I’ll suck your knee, Matt. Ooh, she-cat! Like her alchemy?
Nein!
White tushy manga marker, you made me better
Come on, come on, cut novels at bedtime
At your Islamic temple, Eid, then get married
You’ve got to keep those, keep those combos Naruto
The same, the same, but why can’t I date him?
God that sh*t keeps going, those Twilights
“Hello? Can we get out now? We’re wearing stilettos.”
B-52s hair?
Why does she nag her, nag her? You made me taters
Nanka! Nanka! Normal set haters
Are you my long left demo? He begets nahin
He took a key to Quito: Domino Ludo
To tame the, tame the wild pair of tay-tays
Burn that sh*t. Quit talking those…
… Twilights
Paper!
Rock!
Six hours later…
A graphic reminder that biker gloves are about as “hardcore” as tattoos these days.
“Are… are we done? Is it over?”

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Class in America: The “Good Schools” Myth

The day’s favorite American euphemism for deliberate class stratification, “good schools,” is back, this time from Nicholas Kristof in the New York Times. This one is doubly insidious because liberals are still comfortable saying it aloud. I bitchslapped Kristof’s fellow white-flight New Yorker Malcolm Gladwell when he took this same call up a year ago, and since nothing’s changed, I’ll refer you to my post from that time, Malcolm Gladwell’s Good Teacher/Bad Teacher Delusion.

Snip:

Don’t blame students; don’t blame parents; don’t blame underfunded schools; don’t blame distending class sizes, don’t blame school funding being tied to local property taxes; don’t blame artificial testing requirements devouring classroom time; don’t blame required special education skewing dollar-per-student vs. results numbers wildly below magnet and parochial schools; don’t blame the flight of your upper-middle class into homogenous neighborhoods.

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Building the Shack, Part 6

Framed the rafters and cut a ridge beam.

Still figuring out roofs. Went through a lot of revisions.

Used rise over run rather than angles as much as possible. Some bad math early on.

Pine a pleasure to cut on the tablesaw after all that rock-hard oak.

Rounded rafter ends a motif from early on in designs. Mirrored it with the ridge beam.

Might drill a hole and hang a lamp/planter/bird feeder off east and west ends of the beam.

Need to level the ground and lay a brick slab next. This is moving outside the workshop. Quixotic.

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Building the Shack, Part 5

Framed the west wall.

Nailed a strip of scrap into the gap at the foot of the door to maintain dimensions while working.

More cross laps. Picturing the shack something like a three-walled card house, with the east (picture window) wall bearing less of the load of the roof than the other three.

House painters walked off with a roll of tar paper I was planning on using for the roof, so back to the drawing board there.

Rafters next.

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YouTube Captioning: Jungle Girl: Chapter 1, Death by Voodoo!

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Hey Edgar, if you’re just phoning it in these days, could you add some more tits? Thanks.
Starring

NOT ENTIRELY JOAN CRAWFORD

Starring

PUFF McMANMUSCLE

Starring

GOMER PYLE

And Featuring

DICK COCKY and WET STAINES

With

ONIONHEAD KLINGER and the BLACKFACE KID

A

DAVID DUKE

Production

Next Exit

GAS

FOOD

LODGING

Scene 3½
“Then how do we know about them?”
“Better schools,” if you know what I mean. Posh assholes.
“An invisible plane!”
WE – MUST – STOP – WONDER – WOMAN – AT – ALL – COSTS
Speak of the devil…
Not so much scenes as notions.
Tag out.
“…monkey screwing little sh*t.”
Marooned in the jungle with nothing but her wits and a book of Marks & Spencer dress patterns…
“In that python.”
Shouldn’t it have passed over by now?
Relax, they’re just having a tailgate party.
Hands above your waist while running, that’s a good girl.
JUNGLE GIRL!
“Jennifer Connelly too.”
“Mom said it might get cold.”
*thunk*

“Ow!”

It’s been three seconds.
“If you know what I mean.”
This’ll be easy to smooth over.
Eventually…
Days later…
It makes you wonder why he didn’t think of that.
Clearly, this is not southern California…
“How did you get here?”
“I think I know what you mean…”
Scene 17¼
Scene 17.999999999…
“If you know what I mean.”

“That’s my line!”

“If you… *cough*… know what I mean….”
“Well, besides that fiver…”
“Exposed her to fresh air, sunshine, and regular physical activity!”
Why is there a giant ear behind him?
Ice cream!
Well, he’s secured TARP funds.
“Give up? A Hypocritical Oaf. Get it? Oh, I’ve got thousands of them.”
“You just go start the plane…”
“Classic sitcom rules. Good.”
“Stanton’s not the sharpest pecker in the wood, if you… well, you know.”
“Condoms…”
He should get some spackle for that wall back there too.
*click*
“You there! Are you chosen from the bravest men of the tribe?”

“No.”

“See? Lying guards.”

“Step through this awkward edit and I’ll show you.”
Did you get all that? It might be important later in the episode. Does anyone need a pencil?
“That should be enough white rice.”
Anything?
“That shouldn’t cause a problem.”
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
Of course he does. You’re playing him too, aren’t you?
“…foxtrot.”
“…freely exploitable workforce!”
Edited by a cokehead with his own used razor blades.
( JUNGLE GIRL! )
She’d probably laugh at the notion of a villain named “Bradley.”
“Mercury is in retrograde!”
For what?
Even gunning people down he’s got that hangdog “just finished masturbating” look.
(An even sillier sounding name than “Bradley.”)
“What? Hey, that’s brilliant!”
“I’ll use my milkshake to bring them to the-“

“Don’t put that in my head.”

=0_0=
Man, the original Fitzcarraldo sucked.
JUNGLE GIRL!
At this point we’re editing just to make it end sooner.
“Who?”
“What?”
“How?”
“Where?”
“Why?”
“Who cares?”
“Beat it!”
♬ …you believe in life after love… ♬
They might as well be hiding behind a rack of postcards.
Their bow and arrows must have all jammed.
.oO(My friggin’ hero)
ANTICIPATE
FOLLOW THROUGH
If you liked the daring stunts in ‘West Side Story’…
“She should be cooked through.”
“Well, I was burned to death, but…”
“What? What were you f*cknuts DOING out here!?!”
“To get knackered.”
That we… saw.
(What spear?)Oo.
*BAMF*

“I’m here now!”

Chirpa? The chief of the ewoks?
Ooh. Awkward.
“Prepare to be nimble!”
“How fascinating.”
“My nuts!”
NEXT WEEK
Chapter Two
A NIGHT ON SPLASH MOUNTAIN

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Panorama: Rainbow

Sennebec Lake, Union, ME, looking towards Appleton.

Stitched together in Hugin from 25 camera phone pictures. Miller cylindrical projection.

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What Should We Do With Polanski?

The more I read about the Polanski case, the harder I find myself leaning toward witch hunt, but I’ll remain on the fence. The pertinent data seems to be as follows:

Statutory rape is based on the assumption that a woman under 18 can not make rational decisions about her sexuality when confronted with an adult. This may be true. The US says that this girl could have in 5 years. Britain says she could have in 3. Other countries differ in either direction. In my opinion, the US is closer to the truth. Whatever the case, it’s difficult to argue sanely that the crime is equal to that of a forced sexual assault against an adult woman.

On the question of force, we have two pieces of evidence. Less valuable are Geimer’s recollections of her feelings at the time, which, as hard as it is to accept, were nearly useless when recorded 30 years after the fact. More damning is the application of methaqualone to the girl’s drink — at the time a popular grey market recreational sedative.

There is no pattern of action, unusual for a true sexual predator. Polanski has received no allegations of sexual misconduct in the years preceding, nor in the years since. His pregnant wife had been murdered eight years before the incident. Polanski has now been married for the past 20 years. A settlement was reached, Geimer has dropped charges, and wishes to see the whole thing forgotten.

But America can go a bit nuts when a crime involves sex, especially with a minor, even while lingering over its American Eagle ads. It can resemble a kind of ritual flagellation, and if that’s the case no one deserves to be flogged for our own sins. As I said, I’m reserving judgement on Polanski, but there’s a whiff of inquisition about this.