Courtesy of Rep. Barney Frank:
The Fetish Diary: School Girl Complex
There’s no nudity, but I can’t quite call this photoset safe for work either. If anyone understands why that is, please let me know. (The same if anyone with a bit of Japanese can help give proper credit to the photographer.)
Shakespeare in the Pub: Auditions
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
The Badger Pub and Cafe
7:00pm – 9:00pm
289 Common Road
Union, ME
Come audition for a unique performance of Shakespeare’s comedy the “Two Gentlemen of Verona.” Please bring a short prepared piece, and be ready to show off your improv skills!
Retired Addiction
Stephen Pinker’s How the Mind Works
It helps to have a passing familiarity with programming and self-organizing systems, but on the whole it’s an extremely fun and readable introduction to how cells can compute. Pinker demolishes a lot of philosophical fortresses built around the ever-sliding concept of “consciousness” without even really trying. Scientists are never so gleeful as in the rush to explain what exciting things they’ve learned, and despite the book’s length, that energy rarely flags. A highly recommended science read.
Who Was John Galt?
At the bookstore, I’m always amused that not one of the many people who ask for Ayn Rand’s books seem to have investigated how to pronounce her name. America has just come out of the largest-scale test of Randism since Hoover, with similar results. Hers is the Golden Age comic book of political philosophies: a glimpse into a shiny world without moral grayscales. It’s fun, at a certain age, but most of us grow out of it.
For those who simply can’t stomach complex political philosophies, this is a very frightening time, and its reflected in book sales. “How much is Common Sense?” a customer asked the other day, holding up a copy of Glenn Beck’s book. “It’s right there on the back, sir,” replied my manager.
YouTube Captioning: Conspiracy Theory: Did We Land on the Moon? Part 1
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Manbags
In fact, they’re mostly mistaken assumptions and half-assed guilt by association.
You are all individuals.
Why doesn’t Fox News carry that disclaimer anymore?
IN A WORLD where rockets are shot into space…
The final episode of M*A*S*H*?
Okay. I don’t believe it.
“The whole relationship, just the failed gamble of two people desperate not to be seen alone.”
Paper or plastic?
Or whatever else we can find.
“The eagle is now picking up a tortoise to drop on that rock over there…”
I’m glad they took the time to interview a guy who thinks he knows everything but doesn’t.
Tony Nelson?
Are you trying to tell me that Bush was actually pretending to be a complete idiot?
YOU MAKE THE CALL
[Insert melodrama here]
I hope this ends with Buzz Aldrin punching everyone involved in the face.
“Yeah, it’s tied.”
And promptly died of suffocation.
“Umm…what comes after nine?”
“I can’t get ‘Fly Me to the Moon’ out of my head, over…”
Wow, it’s so vaguely sexual…
Blasted in his face?
With no toilet stops on the way.
“Got really drunk and did some things they never spoke of again…”
“Read a few chapters of The Fountainhead…”
The ladies toilets? A theater showing Mamma Mia?
“No, your other right…”
(“Sh***ing Our Pants Base” didn’t quite have the same ring to it.)
Yes?
David Attenborough: “And here we see a footprint of the rare and probably endangered Neilius Armstrongius…”
Most of us don’t wear tinfoil hats and build survival shelters under our garden sheds.
Now… what were they again?
“Crap, line?”
No, that wasn’t it…
♬ …Leap of faith, leap of faith…
So he knows everything there is to know about astronomy and space travel.
“For instance, we couldn’t decide what colour we wanted the rockets to be.”
Michael Bay’s Apollo 13
Sikh the Truth
^
|
sane
|
sane
…gave him a tingly feeling.
What channel was he watching?
“I mean, where was all the green cheese?”
“A cat chasing a mouse, and getting beaten up again and again? Preposterous!”
It was Fusie the Star Sprite!
“NOOOOO stars!” *irritating whistle*
It’s almost like THE SUN WAS SHINING, you twits!
Waving… wobbling… whatever.
DUN DUN DUN!!!
Okay we admit it, we actually sent a woman!
And quite rightly, too.
“Morons, we call them.”
“WE LOVE YOU, FLOCK OF SEAGULLS!”
These people will be found and eliminated.
Umm, they’re paranoid and delusional?
Please, our government can’t keep the lid on a couple waterboardings, let alone something like this…
“Beep beep! Woo! Aliens are coming, commander! They’ll never take us alive, spaceman!“
Until he was fired for being mad as pants.
Please say you’re only telling the documentary makers this because it’s what they want to hear and you don’t believe a word of what you’re saying…
“…a ten billion dollar ‘NEENER NEENER’ at the Reds?”
In order to heal.
To the TARDIS!
People should never assume anything.
“They defined that as killing us all.”
The Beanie Baby craze?
“…an America already terrified by the introduction of the Edsel.”
Sputnik: Russian for “Daddy Long-Legs”
It carried “NU – C L E – AR” bombs. Get it right, people.
“But this footage of a large explosion says otherwise…”
Crap, are we doing the Watchmen trailer again?
Did these guys know what they were being interviewed for?
These people had been reading too much science-fiction.
Ha-ha, just a little joke from me, the narrator…
“Never tell me the odds!”
You’re just making these numbers up as you go along, right?
“…Point zero, zero quillion, to the negative power of, like, infinity…”
Stupid rocket, you’re not supposed to explode until you get to Russia!
Please. Tell.
“And the leprechauns never lie to me.”
“…where did we get all the receipts?”
Why, through the magic of CGI, of course!
Since there’s no way we can pretend it didn’t actually happen.
It sent them to Pluto. CHEW ON THAT, CONSPIRACY PUSSIES!
“Hey Neil, if you don’t come back can I have your stereo?”
Passing the time with a few games of charades and Zero-G Scrabble.
“…God created reality television, and seeing what He had done sealed it away in the dark places until the coming of the Antitaste.”
“…and then Atlantis stole the missing Zapruder footage from the Reptoids.”
Scorpio Zero, Capricorn leads the series by two.
So it MUST be true!
“Switch it to the Knicks game!”
“But we’re planting an American flag anyway.”
Which you already said was filmed AFTER the moon landing! Is NASA hiding a time machine too?
But it isn’t.
Producer:
1. Gringo Wedding (2006) (executive producer)
2. Barbarosa (1982) (producer)
3. Hanover Street (1979) (producer)
4. Capricorn One (1978) (producer)
5. Extreme Close-Up (1973) (producer)
1. Gringo Wedding (2006) (executive producer)
2. Barbarosa (1982) (producer)
3. Hanover Street (1979) (producer)
4. Capricorn One (1978) (producer)
5. Extreme Close-Up (1973) (producer)
Self:
1. Conspiracy Theory: Did We Land on the Moon? (2001) (TV) …. Himself
“I also believe Bigfoot knows where Hoffa’s body is.”
The pudding is solid?
So let me get this right, they’re putting a later piece of fiction forward as evidence that the moon landings were faked?
“…none of us actually had sex…”
Oh please. You can’t even make your toupee look convincing.
Tv monitors! It’s true!
*klieg light falls on astronaut*
But they somehow forgot the stars. Remember that.
I think you’ve had enough…
Capped by KKDW, TheDiva and Space Toast
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YouTube Captioning: Porsche 911 GT2 v Corvette ZR-1
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♬
So don’t neglect your blog!
So don’t neglect your blog!
Don’t avoid your blog!
You can disregard me if you please
But don’t ignore your blog!
An aging douche in £60 pre-distressed designer jeans trying to look casual? Yeah, it does.
It was the talk of the cotillion.
“…laughed off the whole Sarah Palin thing…”
Zdar One?
How many odd foot of grunt is that?
“We’ll be testing them to see which one carries more groceries.”
And a better naughty 69.
And…
They both run out of gas.
What a clear day. You can nearly see Leeds a mile in the background.
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.oO(Can’t believe that bitch left me. Who does she think she is? She’ll pay. Sooner or later, they all pay.)
My uncle always said that Corvettes tend to pixellate at high speeds.
You guys do know you can do a freeze-frame without physically pausing the tape in the camera, right?
“I think about my ex-wife.”
Every time you take a what?
(The audio recording quality is actually fine here. No known sound codec can reproduce this much Cockney.)
“He’s not bloody Roy!”
“I’m sick now.”
“And now he’s going to Vonage.”
Please stop mentioning your Speedo.
*passes Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock in a bus*
1.5 Miles
54.45sec 55.32sec
@174.11mph @176.82mph
Runway Barrier
62.52sec 62.52sec
@0mph @0mph
“Proving once again how large my penis is.”
.oO(Don’t mention hitting his cat)
“I’ll make you a deal, mate… See, if you’re in the market, mate, I know a bloke who knows a bloke, see…”
Huh?
“You’ll smell better.”
Douchrace 2000: The Reckoning
After being flown back to the other end of the runway on a specially modified Boeing 747…
*plays with the radio*
“…not really love.”
Turbo Lad! Defender of British youth the world over!
Wait, he’s sitting on the right! They must have flipped the footage in post to make the other guy look faster.
You can do it, Speed Racer!
“There goes Buckaroo Bonzai on my left…”
We call it the “get down part.”
The stupider the thing is, the more money people will spend on it?
“…Neither of us got laid today, so that is a draw. I did, however, jizz, in my pants.”
T.M.I. dude.
You’d be sitting in traffic reading the ultimate frisbee bumper stickers on the back of a Geo.
“That way, both of our sponsors, will remain happy.”
Capped by Space Toast
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360° Panorama: Rowboat
Sennebec Lake, Union, ME
Stitched together in Hugin from 16 camera phone pictures. Mercator projection.
YouTube Captioning: Mormon Messages: How Can I Find Happiness?
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“The biggest consumer, Utah, averaged 5.47 adult content subscriptions per 1000 home broadband users…”
-ABC News
-ABC News
Then you’re probably in Salt Lake City.
What do you think, chunky Beverly Hills Cop-era Paul Reiser?
You wonder if the lake-effect rain will ever lose input under an occluded front.
A neck brace?
“Thank you. Good night.”
“…bigamy…”
“…xenophobia…”
“…filicide…”
So we live in Utah, to avoid that temptation.
“My picture!”
“Dad, you’re squishing my picture too!”
“I f**** hate you two!”
Our degrading, precious bodily fluids.
Paul Reiser again?
First down. 12:21 on the clock. Romans have possession.
“Or cutting remarks.”
“Suck iiiiiit…”
Messianic Apathetic
DC Comics Jesus #1 (August 1936)
“Are you gonna start the auction or not?”
No matter how many times “Scrubs” is on cable at any given second…
Please Pablo… Come to Florida…
(He’s omnipotent, but touchy.)
“I don’t really like thrillers so much…”
?
Wasn’t that a “But…” ?
Capped by Space Toast
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YouTube Captioning: Gundam00: Celestial Being
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As opposed to whom?
Graham Norton, American supremacist.
Can we listen to something other than talk radio?
Mike Mulligan’s steam shovel, no!
TONIGHT!
ON WWE RAW
The horrible truth of the Oneida Community…
Clogs?
“That’s great, Mr. Lipman, but we were discussing Maria Bello’s new movie…?”
.oO(Gotta… pee!)
“Ted, you ignoble bastard, is that you? I haven’t seen you since Wallingford!”
“The Perseids! We’re saved!”
That is one bitch of a reactor leak.
In the name of the Autobot, the Voltron, and the holy Gundam, amen.
“HEEEEEEEEELP!”
[Pronounced “GUN-da-MOO”]
.oO(I hate living in the revolving restaurant)
Just once I’d like to see a well adjusted young hotshot pilot.
Make it a yogurt, Señor Latte
You’re workin’ up anyone? Hell yeah
C’est Yoko. Party y’all are wee
My wish is so verby? Is it?
My suit is not that dweeby-collared
A suet pan to carry ’round
There’s a war. Metal cannery
My life ain’t too dear for your pay
Houdini cuckold made you talk heyyyyy…
BIGGER CHEST ^
^ ^
BIGGER CHEST
BIGGER CHEST
In my day, Sunrise just made bread.
That is one HELL of a greenfly.
“Ahh, Mr. Batch.”
This is such great banter.
“I make the girls cream.”
*squish*
“Will you shut up?”
It’s tight as a drum, Boss Tweed.
“Lets get this over with. I’ve got tickets to Gwar tonight.”
“Feeling kind of let down about life. You know. Just nothing really going on, I guess. Over.”
“The plot!”
It takes a great leader to respond to a situation with peeved incredulity.
Airman Durr
“Engage the slinky under glass!”
(My girlfriends won’t believe this unless I get a snapshot)Oo.
P.E.TA.?
Mobile Suit Redundant
“Warm greens in a fall wardrobe?!”
Evil McSmarmydick
The exposition has plenty of seating, and vice-versa.
Then let the battle of mockery begin.
A robot with a knife? How… “progressive.”
Jump ball!
This just goes to show something, I’d imagine.
“And I said, ‘Hey, what the.'”
Megamaid!
He’s brave to try bangs.
“Distributing leaflets.”
Top. Men.
Come on guys, they’re only validating parking for another half hour.
Looks like someone only sprang for the basic liability…
Does he ever blink?
*laugh track*
“Oh Chandler!”
Thunderstarbugs are go!
Commander Rainbow Bright on deck.
The S. S. Stephanie Myers
“The perv.”
“If it’s not about ‘Gossip Girls’ I don’t want to hear it.”
One can of puce? You suck at tagging.
“You’re totally gonna get us kicked out of prom!”
“I’m sure nothing interesting enough to require a change of strategy will happen.”
– –
o
o o
[]
“Technobabble engaged.”
Can I suggest a headband?
I thought Oral Roberts was heaven’s pillar.
“It’s as boring as it sounds.”
“…Pikachu, Reddy Kilowatt, and the entire cast of ‘The Electric Company.'”
*Chun Lee kick*
“But I find a bit of rouge and an eyebrow plucking intensely masculine.”
*Chun Lee kick*
“Sorry! Sorry.”
THEM MAKING THEIR MOVE: ACTUAL FOOTAGE
WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO SEE IS AN ACTUAL MOVE BEING MADE
This might be exciting if we had any idea what the f*** was going on.
A bit late for the annoying sidekick-thing, isn’t it?
“Thanks, Wilson.”
YAAY! and/or BOO!
I’m thinking Elijah Wood and Johnny Depp for the live-action film.
“I can’t believe you forgot to validate our parking.”
Oh just kiss already.
“Anyway…”
*turns on bouncing suspension*
“Damn kids!”
Telstar Wars
THRILL as he Command-Plusses!
Incredible how? They – snuck – in – with – the – debris.
“Or dumb as hell.”
“EVERYBODY SCRAMBLE! RUN AROUND USELESSLY! THIS IS AN ORDER!”
“I’ll deal with those Space Argonauts later.”
And who’d want to die a virgin?
“This diaper will just have to do.”
Meanwhile, in our sparse, irritating party scene…
“I’m afraid your credit card is coming up declined, sir…”
Good thing small-talk has been eliminated in the future.
Next week on Space Psychics…
“Ohmygod, this is like… tho really happening!”
“I- I think. This interface is really confusing.”
Daveigh Chase, would you move!
“-ass.”
Who’s fighting who, why do I care, and what the eff?
Oh god, not “Ghost Hunters”
“I was watching my stories!”
“Peas and carrots peas and carrots Gundam tentacle baka peas and carrots…”
“Roger that, Jughead.”
“And yet I still feel empty.”
Yes, but poorly animated.
Katie Couric: Serious journalist
*begins to strip*
*takes heavily mosaiced jizz shot*
NASA Denies Coverup
Sailor Moon!
See, the banks over-leveraged themselves by selling worthless financial products to one another. Some of them, called Credit Default Swaps, or CDOs…
Where do you get a wooden backpack?
*wokka chicka music*
“But instead I’ll address it to you…”
“And we’re here to take you on a ska journey…”
Trying to watch this sh** kids.
*left hand tries to strangle him*
“But it is an incentive…”
“Ratings.”
RITZY TITZ CLUB
ATLANTIC CITY
“The irony is not lost on us, I assure you.”
Crap, wrong cue card.
Dr. Pedant
If they hadn’t, someone else would have.
A similar strategy worked at solving Blink 182’s inexplicable popularity.
These guys aren’t home yet?!
“That’s like using toilet paper to eliminate toilets!”
“Anyway, did you find that Foreigner 8-track in the glove box? I’ve got a craving for Juke Box Hero.”
“Kinky.”
Man voice!
*KICK*
“Clams too.”
3… 2… 1…
The Gundam Meister Meisterbergers perhaps?
♫ ROCK and rollin’ pigeons!
♫ CRAAAAZY f***in’ pigeons!
♫ FLAPPIN’ for their lives!
♫ IN the rock & rollin’ SKIES! WHAA!
These are the people who will find you on FaceBook.
.oO(The new XB-2-425-Z-KLYNV-78-C-Mark-235-X-6-Sigma-Alpha-Beta-Epsilon-14 is out!)
“Taxi!”
“Crap, this is an appliance store.”
No panorama for you, jackass.
Mix & match!
“Stop in the name of love, I guess…”
I win!
…The Gundam Bunch!
Captain Lemon Meringue and her Crew
will return in…
THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUNDAM
will return in…
THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUNDAM
“Ow.”
ON THE NEXT GILMORE GIRLS
So, basically, Superman IV without Mark Pillow. See you then!
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