YouTube Captioning: Jungle Girl: Chapter 1, Death by Voodoo!

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Hey Edgar, if you’re just phoning it in these days, could you add some more tits? Thanks.
Starring

NOT ENTIRELY JOAN CRAWFORD

Starring

PUFF McMANMUSCLE

Starring

GOMER PYLE

And Featuring

DICK COCKY and WET STAINES

With

ONIONHEAD KLINGER and the BLACKFACE KID

A

DAVID DUKE

Production

Next Exit

GAS

FOOD

LODGING

Scene 3½
“Then how do we know about them?”
“Better schools,” if you know what I mean. Posh assholes.
“An invisible plane!”
WE – MUST – STOP – WONDER – WOMAN – AT – ALL – COSTS
Speak of the devil…
Not so much scenes as notions.
Tag out.
“…monkey screwing little sh*t.”
Marooned in the jungle with nothing but her wits and a book of Marks & Spencer dress patterns…
“In that python.”
Shouldn’t it have passed over by now?
Relax, they’re just having a tailgate party.
Hands above your waist while running, that’s a good girl.
JUNGLE GIRL!
“Jennifer Connelly too.”
“Mom said it might get cold.”
*thunk*

“Ow!”

It’s been three seconds.
“If you know what I mean.”
This’ll be easy to smooth over.
Eventually…
Days later…
It makes you wonder why he didn’t think of that.
Clearly, this is not southern California…
“How did you get here?”
“I think I know what you mean…”
Scene 17¼
Scene 17.999999999…
“If you know what I mean.”

“That’s my line!”

“If you… *cough*… know what I mean….”
“Well, besides that fiver…”
“Exposed her to fresh air, sunshine, and regular physical activity!”
Why is there a giant ear behind him?
Ice cream!
Well, he’s secured TARP funds.
“Give up? A Hypocritical Oaf. Get it? Oh, I’ve got thousands of them.”
“You just go start the plane…”
“Classic sitcom rules. Good.”
“Stanton’s not the sharpest pecker in the wood, if you… well, you know.”
“Condoms…”
He should get some spackle for that wall back there too.
*click*
“You there! Are you chosen from the bravest men of the tribe?”

“No.”

“See? Lying guards.”

“Step through this awkward edit and I’ll show you.”
Did you get all that? It might be important later in the episode. Does anyone need a pencil?
“That should be enough white rice.”
Anything?
“That shouldn’t cause a problem.”
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
Of course he does. You’re playing him too, aren’t you?
“…foxtrot.”
“…freely exploitable workforce!”
Edited by a cokehead with his own used razor blades.
( JUNGLE GIRL! )
She’d probably laugh at the notion of a villain named “Bradley.”
“Mercury is in retrograde!”
For what?
Even gunning people down he’s got that hangdog “just finished masturbating” look.
(An even sillier sounding name than “Bradley.”)
“What? Hey, that’s brilliant!”
“I’ll use my milkshake to bring them to the-“

“Don’t put that in my head.”

=0_0=
Man, the original Fitzcarraldo sucked.
JUNGLE GIRL!
At this point we’re editing just to make it end sooner.
“Who?”
“What?”
“How?”
“Where?”
“Why?”
“Who cares?”
“Beat it!”
♬ …you believe in life after love… ♬
They might as well be hiding behind a rack of postcards.
Their bow and arrows must have all jammed.
.oO(My friggin’ hero)
ANTICIPATE
FOLLOW THROUGH
If you liked the daring stunts in ‘West Side Story’…
“She should be cooked through.”
“Well, I was burned to death, but…”
“What? What were you f*cknuts DOING out here!?!”
“To get knackered.”
That we… saw.
(What spear?)Oo.
*BAMF*

“I’m here now!”

Chirpa? The chief of the ewoks?
Ooh. Awkward.
“Prepare to be nimble!”
“How fascinating.”
“My nuts!”
NEXT WEEK
Chapter Two
A NIGHT ON SPLASH MOUNTAIN

Capped by Space Toast
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Panorama: Rainbow

Sennebec Lake, Union, ME, looking towards Appleton.

Stitched together in Hugin from 25 camera phone pictures. Miller cylindrical projection.

What Should We Do With Polanski?

The more I read about the Polanski case, the harder I find myself leaning toward witch hunt, but I’ll remain on the fence. The pertinent data seems to be as follows:

Statutory rape is based on the assumption that a woman under 18 can not make rational decisions about her sexuality when confronted with an adult. This may be true. The US says that this girl could have in 5 years. Britain says she could have in 3. Other countries differ in either direction. In my opinion, the US is closer to the truth. Whatever the case, it’s difficult to argue sanely that the crime is equal to that of a forced sexual assault against an adult woman.

On the question of force, we have two pieces of evidence. Less valuable are Geimer’s recollections of her feelings at the time, which, as hard as it is to accept, were nearly useless when recorded 30 years after the fact. More damning is the application of methaqualone to the girl’s drink — at the time a popular grey market recreational sedative.

There is no pattern of action, unusual for a true sexual predator. Polanski has received no allegations of sexual misconduct in the years preceding, nor in the years since. His pregnant wife had been murdered eight years before the incident. Polanski has now been married for the past 20 years. A settlement was reached, Geimer has dropped charges, and wishes to see the whole thing forgotten.

But America can go a bit nuts when a crime involves sex, especially with a minor, even while lingering over its American Eagle ads. It can resemble a kind of ritual flagellation, and if that’s the case no one deserves to be flogged for our own sins. As I said, I’m reserving judgement on Polanski, but there’s a whiff of inquisition about this.

Building the Shack, Part 4

North and south walls will be indentical, so I’ve framed them together.

Dad had this 12″ adjustable T-square with a 45 degree edge and a bubble level. Best tool ever made.

Windows will be on permanent hinges. Think it’s best not to set them until the walls are assembled and the roof is on, to make sure the openings have squeezed into their final shape.

Getting the hang of some cross bracing tricks. Getting less picky on others. This is probably progress.

Had to deepen notches on one set of cross-braces after nailing the pieces into the frame. Slow.

Going through a lot of podcasts working down in the shop. Generally better than being being alone with my thoughts. “News Quiz” is back on BBC 4. Ace.

Still studying roofs. May be able to scrounge some old metal roofing, but will have to figure out a way to cut it.

West wall next.

Building the Shack, Part 3

Framed the east wall.

Mediocre joints. Still working too slowly and carefully.

Still haven’t decided how to put the roof together.

Using nails here and there, when there shouldn’t be sundering pressure. Having to pre-drill oak even to put nails in.

Building the Shack, Part 2

Replaced the frame of the picture window.

Removed the old goop and gave the window a preliminary wash. Cut a 1/2″ x 1 & 3/4″ channel into the new frame edges on the table saw, then removed the excess with a chisel.

Still need to improve at making joints, but started to get the hang of using a combination of bandsaw and hand saw to cut the corner bridles.

Used Silicon II to seal the glass into the channels. Fixed the corners together with screws.

Framing east wall next.