Category: web

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YouTube Captioning: “In Search Of… Atlantis” (Part 2 of 3.)

This is part 2 of a roundtable captioning project between myself and contributors KKDW and TheDiva. Part 1, captioned by KKDW, can be found on the YouTube Captioning blog. TheDiva’s part 3 will appear there as well. Many more captioned YouTube videos — including our first completed feature film, courtesy of TheDiva — may be found at YouTubeCapper.Blogspot.com. Create your own here.

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But could it run Doom?
When was the first non-sequitur invented?
(Except the stuff that is like it.)
Plato’s metaphorical Atlantis…
“Ruined”
Maybe it was mixed in from another puzzle. Are any of your other puzzles missing a piece?
In an analogy, for instance…
“Beyond” in which direction?
Santorini must lie to the west, in the Atlantic ocean?
“But first, I’d like to sing a little song about the most famousest of all hobbits…”
YOU BLEW IT UP! YOU MANIACS!
These fish were once cockerel.
And impossible, if you’re a Conservative.
Obsolete Science Bingo

Lamarckism Miasma Theory Telegony Vital Essence Theory Emission Theory of Vision
Aristotelian Gravity Aether Plum Pudding Model Rutherford Model Geocentrism
Newtonian Gravity Steady State Theory FREE
God
SPACE		 Flat Earth Theory Hollow Earth
Catastrophism Expanding Earth Theory Creationism Land Bridge Theory Freudian Dream Symbolism
Humours Theory of Disease Homeopathy Phrenology Alchemy Psi
Obsolete Science Bingo

Lamarckism Miasma Theory Telegony Vital Essence Theory Emission Theory of Vision
Aristotelian Gravity Aether Plum Pudding Model Rutherford Model Geocentrism
Newtonian Gravity Steady State Theory FREE
God
SPACE		 Flat Earth Theory Hollow Earth
Catastrophism Expanding Earth Theory Creationism Land Bridge Theory Freudian Dream Symbolism
Humours Theory of Disease Homeopathy Phrenology Alchemy Psi
Is ANYONE else seeing the giant loaf of uncooked bread dough?
Only to be wined, dined and disappointed, and left with a disease.
“And he stresses that it’s for sale.”
Like love.
I’m beginning to trust Dr. Ashur less and less.
So we sit and draw pictures for the tourists.
“And that they might have artificially inseminated cattle.”
“But you’re mean, and I’m not showing it to you.”
Obsolete Science Bingo

Lamarckism Miasma Theory Telegony Vital Essence Theory Emission Theory of Vision
Aristotelian Gravity Aether Plum Pudding Model Rutherford Model Geocentrism
Newtonian Gravity Steady State Theory FREE
God
SPACE		 Flat Earth Theory Hollow Earth
Catastrophism Expanding Earth Theory Creationism Land Bridge Theory Freudian Dream Symbolism
Humours Theory of Disease Homeopathy Phrenology Alchemy Psi
Obsolete Science Bingo

Lamarckism Miasma Theory Telegony Vital Essence Theory Emission Theory of Vision
Aristotelian Gravity Aether Plum Pudding Model Rutherford Model Geocentrism
Newtonian Gravity Steady State Theory FREE
God
SPACE		 Flat Earth Theory Hollow Earth
Catastrophism Expanding Earth Theory Creationism Land Bridge Theory Freudian Dream Symbolism
Humours Theory of Disease Homeopathy Phrenology Alchemy Psi
“The E.U.”
Obsolete Science Bingo

Lamarckism Miasma Theory Telegony Vital Essence Theory Emission Theory of Vision
Aristotelian Gravity Aether Plum Pudding Model Rutherford Model Geocentrism
Newtonian Gravity Steady State Theory FREE
God
SPACE		 Flat Earth Theory Hollow Earth
Catastrophism Expanding Earth Theory Creationism Land Bridge Theory Freudian Dream Symbolism
Humours Theory of Disease Homeopathy Phrenology Alchemy Psi
Obsolete Science Bingo

Lamarckism Miasma Theory Telegony Vital Essence Theory Emission Theory of Vision
Aristotelian Gravity Aether Plum Pudding Model Rutherford Model Geocentrism
Newtonian Gravity Steady State Theory FREE
God
SPACE		 Flat Earth Theory Hollow Earth
Catastrophism Expanding Earth Theory Creationism Land Bridge Theory Freudian Dream Symbolism
Humours Theory of Disease Homeopathy Phrenology Alchemy Psi
“And the Smiling Freak.”
Thousands more equally vague predictions that couldn’t be shoehorned into anything are kept in a U-Store-It downtown.
Both vaguely.
No, when he was very sick, he predicted his death within the next four days.
Who didn’t?
No, a death of a President… sometime.
And other loopy sh*t.
He was wrong.
When did he write “I’m Your Boogie Man”?
So not in ’68 or ’69, and not involving any geological upheavals then?
“…In the Atlantic.”
This is the only somewhat regular-looking bit, by the way.
Groupers!
“Leonard, must you work huge white bottoms into every single script?”

“Shut it! And get me another f***ing Gandalf robe.”

“And in other places with similar geology.”
1. STFU

2. GTFO

3. They’re the teeth of a giant space hippopotamus.
4. After Eight mints… OF THE GODS!
5. Some madman has leaked the secret of T-squares to the coral.
What could go wrong?
And the candlestick maker.
“Nothing gay happened.”

Capped by Space Toast
YouTubeCapper.Blogspot.com

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My Latest Bad Idea

Being dumped unceremoniously here, so that I may move on to more pressing matters.

The Idea:

  • A 3d "Kart"-style game
  • That runs in a browser
  • Using Google’s free, open source O3D plugin
  • Supported by ads on in-game billboards

Why a "Kart" game:

  • Fun
  • Simple to pick up and play
  • Relatively simple AI — chooses between preset (invisible) rails and attacks opportunistically

Why O3D:

  • Allows fast, hardware-accelerated 3d in modern browsers
  • Free for developers and users
  • Non-proprietary
  • Reputable development team
  • Good feature list, growing

Problems With O3D:

  • Relatively low-level; no "JQuery" for common tasks
  • Would need to develop a toolchain from scratch to convert Animation:Master models and animations

Art Style Ideas:

  • Pen and watercolor look
  • Bright and fun
  • Simple lighting
  • Baked shadows on track
  • Fake shadows on karts and items
  • Dynamic lighting used sparingly for weapon effects
  • Cartoony characters

Track Ideas:

  • Traction issues — ice, mud, etc.
  • Wind issues — gusts, fans, etc.
  • Loop-de-loops — why should Sonic have all the fun?

Kart Ideas:

  • Permanent, unique kart/driver combos
  • Vehicles affected differently by traction and wind as appears logical
  • Left and right "slots" on each kart

“Slots” Explained:

  • Items can be stored to right or left of driver
  • Items have different weights, sometimes other characteristics
  • Item weights affect handling
  • Heavy jewels, for instance, might be worth points at the end, but be a driving liability
  • Tapping trigger switches items between slots
  • Holding trigger uses items
  • Properly-timed switching of unbalanced items can assist in turns

Drivers:

  • Lively 3d cartoon characters
  • Represent very different play styles
  • Some better suited to some tracks than others
  • Unique weapons
  • Unique weaknesses
  • Unique animations

Sample Drivers:

  • The Marboxian:
    • Reuse one of my characters
    • Drives a hovering flying saucer
    • Not affected by traction
    • Heavily affected by wind
    • Unique weapon: blaster
    • Weakness: Phat beats from radio
  • A Bear:
    • It’s a bear
    • Heaviest character
    • Not affected by wind
    • Low traction effect
    • Unique weapon: Swipes from massive paws
    • Weakness: Igor Stravinsky
  • Maxwell the Lil’ Demon:
    • Reuse a character
    • Unique Weapon: Zappy Pitchfork
  • Tommi:
    • Red-headed, pigtailed little tomboy character
  • Raq the Raccoon
    • Reuse a character
  • A Mouse:
    • Reuse a Character

Sample Items:

  • Car radio:
    • Trigger scans for next station
    • Low grade, low quality audio
    • Stations come in unreliably in different parts of the track
    • Most of it’s always country stations
    • Triggers musical weaknesses, distracting nearby drivers (see Marboxian, Bear)
    • Makes a small but satisfying hit if thrown
  • Cinder Block:
    • Affects handling, weighing down side of kart it’s slotted in
    • Makes a satisfyingly hard hit when thrown
  • Jewels:
    • Worth points at the end, as a function of their weight
  • Power ups
  • Thrown weapons:
    • Targetted by steering direction
    • Steering into opponent increases velocity

Game Logic:

  • JavaScript getting fast, but still think memory is cheaper than processing in browser
  • Lightweight AI chooses between invisible rails stored in memory
  • Lightweight "Fun Physics"
  • Two-player head to head on same computer would be fun — how many simultaneous key presses do modern OS’s allow?
  • Fresh ads loaded each time a track loads
  • No network play, at least at launch — cheating opens up a big can of woes

Physics Engine:

  • Basic 2d collision physics
  • Cheats for not bogging down on large pileups
  • Simple 3rd-axis physics — tracks are still essentially 2d

Sending Content Down the Tubes:

  • Google O3D samples VERY slow to load
  • Use simple geometry
  • Instance a lot
  • All art assets have set URLs so browser won’t re-download them if they’re already in cache
  • Light, smart use of texture maps
  • Is it possible to generate procedural textures on client side in JavaScript? Gradients, simple repeats, noise, etc.
  • Bone-based character animation

Why It’s a Bad Idea:

  • Could be turned out in a few months by a team of 4 or 5
  • I’m one person
  • Have studied the nuts&bolts of 3d, but getting O3D running well would likely take me months
  • Animation:Master toolchain, less steep, but generally likewise
  • Decent with JavaScript, but it would be the biggest project I’d ever programed by far
  • Speculated much, but never actually written a physics engine
  • Best at the art and animation side of things; still a lot of assets to create and perfect
  • Advertising would be based on impressions, as there’s no clickthrough
  • Bandwidth costs wholly unpredictable
  • Covering costs, never mind profitability, wholly unpredictable
  • I’m good at art, but I suck at business
  • I need to focus on getting more work NOW
  • Another of my thousands of over-the-rainbow ideas

There.

Posted on

YouTube Captioning: Morning Musume – Kanashimi Twilight

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Human Instrumentality Continues

However, due to time constraints…

You can’t beat the fit of a PVC blouse.
“YOU WANNA SEE UP MY SKIRT?!”
Who was in charge of the Pepto color scheme?
A zucchini sunset o’er Eden
You heard me: Eat that cumin leavened in air
Gecko went, “Coochie-coo, get more!”
That guy who covers Ood in tallow
It’s a mole!
Come on man, Thayer’s the sh*t; good day!
Ben wa? My toucan? Man, douchy.
Kick a tooth, get dumb and go and use a sheep
Guitar!
Oh take me! Not there. Not there. Sh*t, it’s genetic?
Go back there, back there — Ooh, super curry!
You’ll need white cake or lying Sheens to meet the yob
Go get an anchor, an anchor, or soap from Goa
To keep your, keep your cheek out of doorbells
A book of crap, its name is Twilight
When in Japan, ride the Freudian pink tube.
Co-E.D. ocho to eat here
So let that coed tumble she next to me
In book of love, Coco’s the tan dude
And I make that journey on your camel
What the f*ck!
Was your momma eating the loony?
Mocha ain’t the key to collating
I’ll suck your knee, Matt. Ooh, she-cat! Like her alchemy?
Nein!
White tushy manga marker, you made me better
Come on, come on, cut novels at bedtime
At your Islamic temple, Eid, then get married
You’ve got to keep those, keep those combos Naruto
The same, the same, but why can’t I date him?
God that sh*t keeps going, those Twilights
“Hello? Can we get out now? We’re wearing stilettos.”
B-52s hair?
Why does she nag her, nag her? You made me taters
Nanka! Nanka! Normal set haters
Are you my long left demo? He begets nahin
He took a key to Quito: Domino Ludo
To tame the, tame the wild pair of tay-tays
Burn that sh*t. Quit talking those…
… Twilights
Paper!
Rock!
Six hours later…
A graphic reminder that biker gloves are about as “hardcore” as tattoos these days.
“Are… are we done? Is it over?”

Capped by Space Toast
YouTubeCapper.Blogspot.com

Posted on

YouTube Captioning: Jungle Girl: Chapter 1, Death by Voodoo!

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Hey Edgar, if you’re just phoning it in these days, could you add some more tits? Thanks.
Starring

NOT ENTIRELY JOAN CRAWFORD

Starring

PUFF McMANMUSCLE

Starring

GOMER PYLE

And Featuring

DICK COCKY and WET STAINES

With

ONIONHEAD KLINGER and the BLACKFACE KID

A

DAVID DUKE

Production

Next Exit

GAS

FOOD

LODGING

Scene 3½
“Then how do we know about them?”
“Better schools,” if you know what I mean. Posh assholes.
“An invisible plane!”
WE – MUST – STOP – WONDER – WOMAN – AT – ALL – COSTS
Speak of the devil…
Not so much scenes as notions.
Tag out.
“…monkey screwing little sh*t.”
Marooned in the jungle with nothing but her wits and a book of Marks & Spencer dress patterns…
“In that python.”
Shouldn’t it have passed over by now?
Relax, they’re just having a tailgate party.
Hands above your waist while running, that’s a good girl.
JUNGLE GIRL!
“Jennifer Connelly too.”
“Mom said it might get cold.”
*thunk*

“Ow!”

It’s been three seconds.
“If you know what I mean.”
This’ll be easy to smooth over.
Eventually…
Days later…
It makes you wonder why he didn’t think of that.
Clearly, this is not southern California…
“How did you get here?”
“I think I know what you mean…”
Scene 17¼
Scene 17.999999999…
“If you know what I mean.”

“That’s my line!”

“If you… *cough*… know what I mean….”
“Well, besides that fiver…”
“Exposed her to fresh air, sunshine, and regular physical activity!”
Why is there a giant ear behind him?
Ice cream!
Well, he’s secured TARP funds.
“Give up? A Hypocritical Oaf. Get it? Oh, I’ve got thousands of them.”
“You just go start the plane…”
“Classic sitcom rules. Good.”
“Stanton’s not the sharpest pecker in the wood, if you… well, you know.”
“Condoms…”
He should get some spackle for that wall back there too.
*click*
“You there! Are you chosen from the bravest men of the tribe?”

“No.”

“See? Lying guards.”

“Step through this awkward edit and I’ll show you.”
Did you get all that? It might be important later in the episode. Does anyone need a pencil?
“That should be enough white rice.”
Anything?
“That shouldn’t cause a problem.”
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
Of course he does. You’re playing him too, aren’t you?
“…foxtrot.”
“…freely exploitable workforce!”
Edited by a cokehead with his own used razor blades.
( JUNGLE GIRL! )
She’d probably laugh at the notion of a villain named “Bradley.”
“Mercury is in retrograde!”
For what?
Even gunning people down he’s got that hangdog “just finished masturbating” look.
(An even sillier sounding name than “Bradley.”)
“What? Hey, that’s brilliant!”
“I’ll use my milkshake to bring them to the-“

“Don’t put that in my head.”

=0_0=
Man, the original Fitzcarraldo sucked.
JUNGLE GIRL!
At this point we’re editing just to make it end sooner.
“Who?”
“What?”
“How?”
“Where?”
“Why?”
“Who cares?”
“Beat it!”
♬ …you believe in life after love… ♬
They might as well be hiding behind a rack of postcards.
Their bow and arrows must have all jammed.
.oO(My friggin’ hero)
ANTICIPATE
FOLLOW THROUGH
If you liked the daring stunts in ‘West Side Story’…
“She should be cooked through.”
“Well, I was burned to death, but…”
“What? What were you f*cknuts DOING out here!?!”
“To get knackered.”
That we… saw.
(What spear?)Oo.
*BAMF*

“I’m here now!”

Chirpa? The chief of the ewoks?
Ooh. Awkward.
“Prepare to be nimble!”
“How fascinating.”
“My nuts!”
NEXT WEEK
Chapter Two
A NIGHT ON SPLASH MOUNTAIN

Capped by Space Toast
YouTubeCapper.Blogspot.com

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YouTube Captioning: How to Build a Large Family

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CDIfbW0iCuE

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.oO(That… bitch…)
“…for sex.”
It’s strangely hard to scrub the bullshit smell from a hyphenated URL.
“…or sobriety, or even the inclination…”
Often?

A) Family planning  C) Rupert Grint        

B) Bacon            D) Their daughters seek

                        to fill the loveless

                   void by getting

                    knocked up at 15

Wait, what? Back up…
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
“Building a warren of tents and shacks, if necessary.”
“Somehow.”
(Just not one-on-one.)
“…you try to remember their names…”
That is a dangerous twitch.
“Or help them with their homework. Which is good, because most of you probably can neither read nor write.”
“Just take it! Take it, bitch! F*CK FOR JESUS! *sob* Daddy, stop hitting Mommy…“
You get a phone call in prison.
“…shepherds them, if you will…”
“Mommy, I have a nail in my head.”

“Stop being so needy and demanding, dear.”

Unlike your husband, a tool who doesn’t work.
“But what do I know? I’m just a woman.”

Capped by Space Toast
YouTubeCapper.Blogspot.com

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YouTube Captioning: Conspiracy Theory: Did We Land on the Moon? Part 1

This was a collaboration between cappers KKDW, TheDiva and myself.

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Manbags
In fact, they’re mostly mistaken assumptions and half-assed guilt by association.
You are all individuals.
Why doesn’t Fox News carry that disclaimer anymore?
IN A WORLD where rockets are shot into space…
The final episode of M*A*S*H*?
Okay. I don’t believe it.
“The whole relationship, just the failed gamble of two people desperate not to be seen alone.”
Paper or plastic?
Or whatever else we can find.
“The eagle is now picking up a tortoise to drop on that rock over there…”
I’m glad they took the time to interview a guy who thinks he knows everything but doesn’t.
Tony Nelson?
Are you trying to tell me that Bush was actually pretending to be a complete idiot?
YOU MAKE THE CALL
[Insert melodrama here]
I hope this ends with Buzz Aldrin punching everyone involved in the face.
“Yeah, it’s tied.”
And promptly died of suffocation.
“Umm…what comes after nine?”
“I can’t get ‘Fly Me to the Moon’ out of my head, over…”
Wow, it’s so vaguely sexual…
Blasted in his face?
With no toilet stops on the way.
“Got really drunk and did some things they never spoke of again…”
“Read a few chapters of The Fountainhead…”
The ladies toilets? A theater showing Mamma Mia?
“No, your other right…”
(“Sh***ing Our Pants Base” didn’t quite have the same ring to it.)
Yes?
David Attenborough: “And here we see a footprint of the rare and probably endangered Neilius Armstrongius…”
Most of us don’t wear tinfoil hats and build survival shelters under our garden sheds.
Now… what were they again?
“Crap, line?”
No, that wasn’t it…
♬ …Leap of faith, leap of faith…
So he knows everything there is to know about astronomy and space travel.
“For instance, we couldn’t decide what colour we wanted the rockets to be.”
Michael Bay’s Apollo 13
Sikh the Truth
^
|
sane
…gave him a tingly feeling.
What channel was he watching?
“I mean, where was all the green cheese?”
“A cat chasing a mouse, and getting beaten up again and again? Preposterous!”

It was Fusie the Star Sprite!

“NOOOOO stars!” *irritating whistle*

It’s almost like THE SUN WAS SHINING, you twits!
Waving… wobbling… whatever.
DUN DUN DUN!!!
Okay we admit it, we actually sent a woman!
And quite rightly, too.
“Morons, we call them.”
“WE LOVE YOU, FLOCK OF SEAGULLS!”
These people will be found and eliminated.
Umm, they’re paranoid and delusional?
Please, our government can’t keep the lid on a couple waterboardings, let alone something like this…
“Beep beep! Woo! Aliens are coming, commander! They’ll never take us alive, spaceman!“
Until he was fired for being mad as pants.
Please say you’re only telling the documentary makers this because it’s what they want to hear and you don’t believe a word of what you’re saying…
“…a ten billion dollar ‘NEENER NEENER’ at the Reds?”
In order to heal.
To the TARDIS!
People should never assume anything.
“They defined that as killing us all.”
The Beanie Baby craze?
“…an America already terrified by the introduction of the Edsel.”
Sputnik: Russian for “Daddy Long-Legs”
It carried “NU – C L E – AR” bombs. Get it right, people.
“But this footage of a large explosion says otherwise…”
Crap, are we doing the Watchmen trailer again?
Did these guys know what they were being interviewed for?
These people had been reading too much science-fiction.
Ha-ha, just a little joke from me, the narrator…
“Never tell me the odds!”

You’re just making these numbers up as you go along, right?

“…Point zero, zero quillion, to the negative power of, like, infinity…”

Stupid rocket, you’re not supposed to explode until you get to Russia!
Please. Tell.
“And the leprechauns never lie to me.”
“…where did we get all the receipts?”
Why, through the magic of CGI, of course!
Since there’s no way we can pretend it didn’t actually happen.
It sent them to Pluto. CHEW ON THAT, CONSPIRACY PUSSIES!
“Hey Neil, if you don’t come back can I have your stereo?”
Passing the time with a few games of charades and Zero-G Scrabble.
“…God created reality television, and seeing what He had done sealed it away in the dark places until the coming of the Antitaste.”
“…and then Atlantis stole the missing Zapruder footage from the Reptoids.”
Scorpio Zero, Capricorn leads the series by two.
So it MUST be true!
“Switch it to the Knicks game!”
“But we’re planting an American flag anyway.”
Which you already said was filmed AFTER the moon landing! Is NASA hiding a time machine too?
But it isn’t.
Producer:
1. Gringo Wedding (2006) (executive producer)
2. Barbarosa (1982) (producer)
3. Hanover Street (1979) (producer)
4. Capricorn One (1978) (producer)
5. Extreme Close-Up (1973) (producer)

Self:
1. Conspiracy Theory: Did We Land on the Moon? (2001) (TV) …. Himself

“I also believe Bigfoot knows where Hoffa’s body is.”
The pudding is solid?
So let me get this right, they’re putting a later piece of fiction forward as evidence that the moon landings were faked?
“…none of us actually had sex…”
Oh please. You can’t even make your toupee look convincing.
Tv monitors! It’s true!
*klieg light falls on astronaut*

But they somehow forgot the stars. Remember that.

I think you’ve had enough…

Capped by KKDW, TheDiva and Space Toast
YouTubeCapper.Blogspot.com

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YouTube Captioning: Porsche 911 GT2 v Corvette ZR-1

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vD9AW-EB3vo

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♬
So don’t neglect your blog!

Don’t avoid your blog!

You can disregard me if you please

But don’t ignore your blog!

An aging douche in £60 pre-distressed designer jeans trying to look casual? Yeah, it does.
It was the talk of the cotillion.
“…laughed off the whole Sarah Palin thing…”
Zdar One?
How many odd foot of grunt is that?
“We’ll be testing them to see which one carries more groceries.”
And a better naughty 69.
And…
They both run out of gas.
What a clear day. You can nearly see Leeds a mile in the background.
(•)
(•)
(•)
(•)
(•)
(•)
(•)
(•)
(•)
.oO(Can’t believe that bitch left me. Who does she think she is? She’ll pay. Sooner or later, they all pay.)
My uncle always said that Corvettes tend to pixellate at high speeds.
You guys do know you can do a freeze-frame without physically pausing the tape in the camera, right?
“I think about my ex-wife.”
Every time you take a what?
(The audio recording quality is actually fine here. No known sound codec can reproduce this much Cockney.)
“He’s not bloody Roy!”
“I’m sick now.”
“And now he’s going to Vonage.”
Please stop mentioning your Speedo.
*passes Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock in a bus*

1.5 Miles

54.45sec     55.32sec

@174.11mph     @176.82mph

Runway Barrier

62.52sec     62.52sec

@0mph     @0mph

“Proving once again how large my penis is.”
.oO(Don’t mention hitting his cat)
“I’ll make you a deal, mate… See, if you’re in the market, mate, I know a bloke who knows a bloke, see…”
Huh?
“You’ll smell better.”
Douchrace 2000: The Reckoning
After being flown back to the other end of the runway on a specially modified Boeing 747…
*plays with the radio*
“…not really love.”
Turbo Lad! Defender of British youth the world over!
Wait, he’s sitting on the right! They must have flipped the footage in post to make the other guy look faster.
You can do it, Speed Racer!
“There goes Buckaroo Bonzai on my left…”
We call it the “get down part.”
The stupider the thing is, the more money people will spend on it?
“…Neither of us got laid today, so that is a draw. I did, however, jizz, in my pants.”
T.M.I. dude.
You’d be sitting in traffic reading the ultimate frisbee bumper stickers on the back of a Geo.
“That way, both of our sponsors, will remain happy.”

Capped by Space Toast

YouTubeCapper.Blogspot.com

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YouTube Captioning: Gundam00: Celestial Being

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J1RSeKeS-eY

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As opposed to whom?
Graham Norton, American supremacist.
Can we listen to something other than talk radio?
Mike Mulligan’s steam shovel, no!
TONIGHT!

ON WWE RAW

The horrible truth of the Oneida Community…
Clogs?
“That’s great, Mr. Lipman, but we were discussing Maria Bello’s new movie…?”
.oO(Gotta… pee!)
“Ted, you ignoble bastard, is that you? I haven’t seen you since Wallingford!”
“The Perseids! We’re saved!”
That is one bitch of a reactor leak.
In the name of the Autobot, the Voltron, and the holy Gundam, amen.
“HEEEEEEEEELP!”
[Pronounced “GUN-da-MOO”]
.oO(I hate living in the revolving restaurant)
Just once I’d like to see a well adjusted young hotshot pilot.
Make it a yogurt, Señor Latte
You’re workin’ up anyone? Hell yeah
C’est Yoko. Party y’all are wee
My wish is so verby? Is it?
My suit is not that dweeby-collared
A suet pan to carry ’round
There’s a war. Metal cannery
My life ain’t too dear for your pay
Houdini cuckold made you talk heyyyyy…
BIGGER CHEST ^
^ ^
BIGGER CHEST
In my day, Sunrise just made bread.
That is one HELL of a greenfly.
“Ahh, Mr. Batch.”
This is such great banter.
“I make the girls cream.”
*squish*
“Will you shut up?”
It’s tight as a drum, Boss Tweed.
“Lets get this over with. I’ve got tickets to Gwar tonight.”
“Feeling kind of let down about life. You know. Just nothing really going on, I guess. Over.”
“The plot!”
It takes a great leader to respond to a situation with peeved incredulity.
Airman Durr
“Engage the slinky under glass!”
(My girlfriends won’t believe this unless I get a snapshot)Oo.
P.E.TA.?
Mobile Suit Redundant
“Warm greens in a fall wardrobe?!”
Evil McSmarmydick
The exposition has plenty of seating, and vice-versa.
Then let the battle of mockery begin.
A robot with a knife? How… “progressive.”
Jump ball!
This just goes to show something, I’d imagine.
“And I said, ‘Hey, what the.'”
Megamaid!
He’s brave to try bangs.
“Distributing leaflets.”
Top. Men.
Come on guys, they’re only validating parking for another half hour.
Looks like someone only sprang for the basic liability…
Does he ever blink?
*laugh track*

“Oh Chandler!”

Thunderstarbugs are go!
Commander Rainbow Bright on deck.
The S. S. Stephanie Myers
“The perv.”
“If it’s not about ‘Gossip Girls’ I don’t want to hear it.”
One can of puce? You suck at tagging.
“You’re totally gonna get us kicked out of prom!”
“I’m sure nothing interesting enough to require a change of strategy will happen.”
– –

o

o o

[]

“Technobabble engaged.”
Can I suggest a headband?
I thought Oral Roberts was heaven’s pillar.
“It’s as boring as it sounds.”
“…Pikachu, Reddy Kilowatt, and the entire cast of ‘The Electric Company.'”
*Chun Lee kick*
“But I find a bit of rouge and an eyebrow plucking intensely masculine.”
*Chun Lee kick*

“Sorry! Sorry.”

THEM MAKING THEIR MOVE: ACTUAL FOOTAGE
WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO SEE IS AN ACTUAL MOVE BEING MADE
This might be exciting if we had any idea what the f*** was going on.
A bit late for the annoying sidekick-thing, isn’t it?
“Thanks, Wilson.”
YAAY! and/or BOO!
I’m thinking Elijah Wood and Johnny Depp for the live-action film.
“I can’t believe you forgot to validate our parking.”
Oh just kiss already.

“Anyway…”

*turns on bouncing suspension*

“Damn kids!”
Telstar Wars
THRILL as he Command-Plusses!
Incredible how? They – snuck – in – with – the – debris.
“Or dumb as hell.”
“EVERYBODY SCRAMBLE! RUN AROUND USELESSLY! THIS IS AN ORDER!”
“I’ll deal with those Space Argonauts later.”
And who’d want to die a virgin?
“This diaper will just have to do.”
Meanwhile, in our sparse, irritating party scene…
“I’m afraid your credit card is coming up declined, sir…”
Good thing small-talk has been eliminated in the future.
Next week on Space Psychics…
“Ohmygod, this is like… tho really happening!”
“I- I think. This interface is really confusing.”
Daveigh Chase, would you move!
“-ass.”
Who’s fighting who, why do I care, and what the eff?
Oh god, not “Ghost Hunters”
“I was watching my stories!”
“Peas and carrots peas and carrots Gundam tentacle baka peas and carrots…”
“Roger that, Jughead.”
“And yet I still feel empty.”
Yes, but poorly animated.
Katie Couric: Serious journalist
*begins to strip*
*takes heavily mosaiced jizz shot*
NASA Denies Coverup
Sailor Moon!
See, the banks over-leveraged themselves by selling worthless financial products to one another. Some of them, called Credit Default Swaps, or CDOs…
Where do you get a wooden backpack?
*wokka chicka music*
“But instead I’ll address it to you…”
“And we’re here to take you on a ska journey…”
Trying to watch this sh** kids.
*left hand tries to strangle him*
“But it is an incentive…”
“Ratings.”
RITZY TITZ CLUB

ATLANTIC CITY

“The irony is not lost on us, I assure you.”
Crap, wrong cue card.
Dr. Pedant
If they hadn’t, someone else would have.
A similar strategy worked at solving Blink 182’s inexplicable popularity.
These guys aren’t home yet?!
“That’s like using toilet paper to eliminate toilets!”
“Anyway, did you find that Foreigner 8-track in the glove box? I’ve got a craving for Juke Box Hero.”
“Kinky.”
Man voice!
*KICK*
“Clams too.”
3… 2… 1…
The Gundam Meister Meisterbergers perhaps?
♫ ROCK and rollin’ pigeons!
♫ CRAAAAZY f***in’ pigeons!
♫ FLAPPIN’ for their lives!
♫ IN the rock & rollin’ SKIES! WHAA!
These are the people who will find you on FaceBook.
.oO(The new XB-2-425-Z-KLYNV-78-C-Mark-235-X-6-Sigma-Alpha-Beta-Epsilon-14 is out!)
“Taxi!”
“Crap, this is an appliance store.”
No panorama for you, jackass.
Mix & match!
“Stop in the name of love, I guess…”
I win!
…The Gundam Bunch!
Captain Lemon Meringue and her Crew
will return in…
THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUNDAM
“Ow.”
ON THE NEXT GILMORE GIRLS
So, basically, Superman IV without Mark Pillow. See you then!
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Where’s the rest of your nose?
All pop idols must be thoroughly wind tunnel tested.
Cameltoe Monthly, on newsstands now.
Which character from “Full House” is she supposed to be?
“That’s me in there, but little!”
Remember this song when it sucked the first time?
Crap… Crap…
Girl in midground: “Is there a way we make the slutty jumberjack thing work a little harder?”
Come on, you’ve done it with people in your “genre of work” so many times…
“I’m still in there!”
Reconcile the madonna and whore archetypes?
Very famine?
“Bargain shelf porn.”
And now the American-born Korean girl look.
Good idea. There’s always work for a washed-up candy girl ten years past her prime who’d binge-exercised coke dimples into her face by 21.
“Education…”
“Not saying ‘like’ every third word…”
“Pile-ons…”
“Gwar.”
“This career will self-destruct in five seconds…”
This is not a hip hop song.
Posing with the black monolith.
Do they have much use for the Nanook of the North backdrop?
“Now do Janet Jackson in the ‘Scream’ video!”
“Ha ha ha! You’re touching my body! Usually only Disney execs get to do that.”
And always remember: Future punchlines don’t die, they just…

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“The biggest consumer, Utah, averaged 5.47 adult content subscriptions per 1000 home broadband users…”
-ABC News
Then you’re probably in Salt Lake City.
What do you think, chunky Beverly Hills Cop-era Paul Reiser?
You wonder if the lake-effect rain will ever lose input under an occluded front.
A neck brace?
“Thank you. Good night.”
“…bigamy…”
“…xenophobia…”
“…filicide…”
So we live in Utah, to avoid that temptation.
“My picture!”
“Dad, you’re squishing my picture too!”
“I f**** hate you two!”
Our degrading, precious bodily fluids.
Paul Reiser again?
First down. 12:21 on the clock. Romans have possession.
“Or cutting remarks.”
“Suck iiiiiit…”
Messianic Apathetic
DC Comics Jesus #1 (August 1936)
“Are you gonna start the auction or not?”
No matter how many times “Scrubs” is on cable at any given second…
Please Pablo… Come to Florida…
(He’s omnipotent, but touchy.)
“I don’t really like thrillers so much…”
?
Wasn’t that a “But…” ?

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